-Your shitty opinion.
-Golden retrievers. I got bit in the face. They're fooling ALL OF YOU!
-My Facebook from several years ago.
-My Facebook now.
-Stories about angsty male English teachers smoking cigarettes and thinking about having sex with their students.
Wow. You got this far. You're amazing. Here's a fun fact about me as your reward. I hate spiders. I love blueberries. Wow, that's two!
I'm Sage. I am eighteen. I'm actually a terrible person, but I like to pretend I'm not.
I like sugar free gum, wasting my life on the internet, and laughing at my own jokes.
Frequently asked questions
Q: Why are you so cool?
A: I can't believe you've left me outside in this blizzard for three hours. Please bring me a coat.
Q: Is Sage your real name?
A: Nobody accuses W̶e̶i̶n̶e̶r̶ ̶V̶o̶n̶ ̶D̶o̶u̶c̶h̶e̶m̶a̶y̶e̶r̶ Sage of lying!
Q: Where do you live?
A: Hell. It's funny because I'm not really evil! Ha ha ha ha.
Q: What do you even do? What is this blog for?
A: Stop asking questions. This interview is over.
The blog master
I think it would be cool if we called ourselves "blog masters" instead of "bloggers".